Becky Graham
“I’m sorry, but we can no longer find a heartbeat.” “Unfortunately, this is not a viable pregnancy. It is an ectopic pregnancy, and you need emergency surgery.” “The pregnancy has dissolved.”
According to the CDC, stillbirth affects 1 in 175 births each year. In addition, approximately 10 to 15 in 100 pregnancies end in miscarriage. And, 1 in every 50 pregnancies in the U.S. is an ectopic pregnancy. With statistics like these, you will know someone who has lost a baby.
“I found out I was pregnant two hours before I was rushed into emergency surgery,” said Becky Graham, a Delta native and author. “I was shocked and happy because I didn’t even know I was pregnant. We had been trying, but there was no indication I was six weeks along in a pregnancy.”
There were no signs because the pregnancy was implanted in the fallopian tube instead of the uterus.
“In the rush to save my life, I didn’t have a chance to realize that I had just lost a much-wanted pregnancy fully.”
In her book, “Faithful,” Graham tells the story of her unexpected journey to motherhood. She chronicles her physical (infertility, IVF, ectopic pregnancy), spiritual, emotional, and mental journey to becoming a mother. Many women can relate to the different parts of Graham’s unexpected journey.
“My sister experienced a stillbirth in 1985. No one in our family had experienced such a loss. But I was young and clueless about what to say to her. So I said nothing,” Graham said. “It wasn’t until 2000, when I experienced pregnancy loss, that I could grasp the hurt and grief she experienced.”
In 1988, U.S. President Ronald Reagan declared October as a month to recognize the unique grief of bereaved parents to demonstrate support to the many families who have suffered such a tragic loss.
Today, women who face pregnancy and infant loss have a community to acknowledge and process the loss. And the people supporting these women are better equipped to help them with the loss.
If you or someone you know have experienced a pregnancy or infant loss, they can find information at Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support https://nationalshare.org. For information about Graham’s book, “Faithful: An Unexpected Journey to Motherhood,” visit www.BeckyGrahamAuthor.com.
